Does Prudent Parenting = Perfect Parenting?

When thinking about developing a parenting philosophy and style, it is important to understand that becoming a Prudent Parent does not mean becoming a perfect parent. There is no such thing as the perfect parent, nor is there such a thing as a perfect child. This does not mean that you should deny your natural instinct to strive for excellence in parenting, however. Some say that a parent only need be “good enough,” but to my way of thinking, “good enough” isn’t good enough given the importance of the job.

On your journey to becoming a Prudent Parent, read parenting advice (including mine) critically. I believe that it is unwise to buy into an orthodox doctrine on parenting that runs counter to our instincts or that requires that we ignore the fact that our child is a unique individual. There is no one right prescription that fits every child in every circumstance. There are, however, methods that are likely to be more or less successful. I’ll help you sort through these.

As we read parenting advice, it is important to recognize that if we restrict ourselves to only one way of doing things and it fails to work or to explain what we experience, we are left with nothing. It is better, then, to take a heterodox approach and to run all new ideas through our belief system using a trial-and-error approach to test those ideas. It is also unwise to reject, out of hand, everything that is new or different from what we are already doing. In keeping an open mind, we allow for our own growth as a parent and for our child’s individuality and development.

Also, keep in mind that becoming a Prudent Parent is a creative process. It is not a goal that is to be reached but an attitude toward parenting. It requires that we practice observing our children carefully and that we recognize that each of our children is a constantly changing and unique individual. We must also understand that what works for one child may not work for another and that what works today may not work a month from now. Furthermore, we must recognize that we are, as parents, evolving along with our children.

As you follow along with me on this journey, you will find that some of what I am suggesting resonates with you, and some of it does not. Accept or reject my advice, but if you do decide to try something that I suggest, give it time to work before abandoning it. No matter how much of what I am suggesting you eventually adopt, you will be a better parent for having thought things through.

In the end, you will come up with your own version of Prudent Parenting. The important thing is that you find a version of it that works for you and your child. And no matter how you decide to parent, you must understand that much of your child’s personality and behavior is genetically encoded, so that, as parents, we cannot take all of the credit for our child’s “successes” nor can we be blamed for all of our child’s “failures.”