Morning Routine

A morning routines is useful for children who are leaving the house in the morning to go to daycare, to preschool, or to elementary/middle school. Even if the child is not old enough to understand completely, explain the situation to him anyway. Assure him that you love him and that you will think of him during the day. Let him know who will pick him up at the end of the day. The more matter-of-fact, confident, and cheerful you are, the more optimistic he will feel about it.

Encourage the child to express his feelings about the situation, and accept both positive and negative feelings (“I know that you’re a little scared about going to preschool, but I think that you’re also excited for this new experience. It’s okay to feel both things at the same time.”). If the child is feeling any anxiety about the situation, role play (perhaps with doll) “going to work” and “going to daycare.”

In order to steam line the morning routine, it is best to give the child his bath (or have him take a bath) the night before when he has school in the morning. There will be enough to do to get everyone out the door without adding bathing to the list. Other things to be done the night before are laying out clothes for the next day, packing backpacks with everything needed for school, and laying out sports equipment or other materials needed for after-school activities.

It is best for the child to use an alarm clock to wake up as soon as he enters elementary school, and you should have him include setting the alarm clock as part of the bedtime routine. This takes getting up out of the realm of negotiation with the parent. If the clock says it’s time to get up, then it’s time to get up. Post a list of exactly what the child needs to do, in what order he needs to do it, and how long he has to do each task.

At the beginning, you’ll have to keep an eye on your child to make sure that he’s following the routine and not lagging behind. You may want to have some practice runs before school starts in the fall to get him in the swing of things. Once he has the routine down pat, you can involve yourself less in his getting ready.

One thing to avoid is rescuing your child once he is able to follow the morning routine. If he fails to get up when the alarm clock rings, then let him experience the natural consequences of not getting up on time. Getting up on one’s own is a big step toward independence and something he will need to be able to do once he’s left home.

Also, if he forgets something at home, let him suffer the natural consequences of doing so. Part of developing responsibility is making sure that he has everything he needs for his day before he leaves the house. If he suffers the natural consequences of his responsibility lapse, he will be more likely to remember everything he needs in the future. If he is too young or immature to do this on his own, help him by discussing the next day’s activity schedule the night before and helping him to collect what he needs. As he becomes more capable, let him do this with less and less assistance from you.

Model accepting this responsibility by laying out everything you need for your day the night before as well. If your child sees you taking your responsibility seriously, then he is more likely to do so. And by doing this, you achieve the added benefit of eliminating the need to run around in the morning when time is short.