Enforcing Rules with Young Children

When enforcing rules with young children, there are at least three sequences of events that can be followed.

Sequence One:

1. Provide clear rules (“In ten minutes, it will be time to clean up and get ready to go home.”).

2. Provide a reminder (“Remember, you have five minutes left to play and then it’s time to clean up and go home.”).

3. Provide a choice (“You can either clean up now and we will have time to stop at the playground on the way home or I will clean up your toys and we will go straight home.”)

4. Follow through with promised consequence (positive or negative)(“Thank you for cleaning up your toys quickly; now, we have time to stop at the playground on the way home.”).

5. Review sequence of events (“No, we can’t stop at the playground on the way home because you didn’t clean up your toys when I asked you to.”).


Sequence Two:

1. Describe expected behavioral outcomes (“I know that you will try hard to share your toys with Michael when we go over to his house to play.”).

2. Outline consequence of behavioral choices (“If you can’t share your toys with Michael, we will have to go home.”).

3. Provide warnings (“I want you to think about what will happen if you continue to grab toys from Michael.”).

4. Offer help (“Would it help you if I explained how Michael feels when you grab toys from him?”).

5. Follow through with consequence (“Now we have to go home because you can’t seem to stop grabbing toys from Michael. You can try again another day.”).


Sequence Three:

1. State behavioral requirements (“I want you to pick up your Legos when you’re finished playing with them.”).

2. State feelings associated with non-compliance (“It makes me angry when you do not listen when I ask you to pick up your Legos.”).

3. Provide consequence for failure to comply (“If you do not clean up your Legos after you are finished playing with them, I will put them away in the closet for the rest of the day.”).