What Does it Take to Become a Prudent Parent?

What is does it take to become a prudent parent? It is necessary to be caring, patient, and forward-thinking.

At its core, Prudent Parenting is about caring for your child. Caring is to some degree, instinctive. According to Dr. Benjamin Spock, “You know more than you think you do.” Your baby cries and you immediately go and pick him up; you feed him when he’s hungry not when it suits you; and, you change his diaper when it needs changing, not at a more convenient time. When your child is older, you protect him from harm, you bandage his hurts, and you teach him to be responsible and to independently navigate the world. Throughout his life, you provide support and encouragement.

This represents the basics of caring, but caring also implies caring enough to educate yourself about child development and parenting. Good parenting is learned. No one was born with all of the knowledge that it takes to soothe a fretting baby, to handle a misbehaving toddler, or to manage a rebellious adolescent. It is best to take a humble approach, understanding that there is much to learn about child development and parenting on the road to becoming a Prudent Parent. The more prepared the parent, the better her instincts will be.

Prudent Parenting is also about patience. Teaching takes much more effort and patience than doing everything for your child. Encouraging your child to do things for himself has great benefits to him, but it requires your patience. Everything takes longer when there is a child involved. You need to slow down and enjoy the journey. Yes, it can be frustrating after you’ve spent thirty minutes getting your child ready to go outside to play in the snow and he announces that he has to go to the bathroom. But because you are patient, you don’t scold him. Instead you help him get the snow suit off and make it to the bathroom in time. After that, you get him suited up again, and you both go out and make a snow man.

Being patient also means being patient with yourself. Prudent Parenting is a journey rather than a destination, and being patient with yourself allows you to make mistakes along the way. Mistakes are part and parcel of parenting. There are many skills required for excellent parenting, and the process of parenting is complex. Perfectionism on the part of parents can only lead to heartache. Children are quite resilient, and they will tolerate your mistakes as long as you own up to them and try to do better in the future. Fortunately, each day presents a new opportunity to try to parent well.

Prudent Parenting is also about thinking of the future. It is taking into consideration the fact that what is easy isn’t always what is in the long-term best interest of the child. You make the tough calls even when your decision creates friction between yourself and your child. For example, it’s easier to say, “yes,” when your child asks you to take him back to school to fetch his forgotten math book. After all, you’re already in the car, and you have the time. But saying, “no” may be the right thing to do to teach your child that he needs to be more responsible for his things. He’ll have to withstand the natural consequences of not having done his math homework, but the next time he has to bring home his math book, he’ll probably remember to do so.