Risks Are Everywhere (Part 2 of 6)

It is through everyday experiences that children encounter risk. By attempting new things and encountering failure, children learn to bounce back. In taking these risks, they either learn that risk-taking is pleasurable or not. When faced with setbacks, they either learn to persevere or to quit.

When parents limit their child’s experiences to keep him safe from perceived threats, or when they do too much for their child in an effort to eliminate frustration and failure in school, they teach him to be overly risk-averse and to avoid new experiences. It is only by trying, failing, and trying again that good risk-taking begins to foster feelings of competence and confidence. Those children who engage in good risk-taking tend to be more internally motivated and resilient.

There is great social pressure for children to be successful (especially among affluent parents), and success requires emotional risk-taking. At the same time, there is pressure to protect our children from all that is “bad” in the world. How do parents resolve this conflict?

Risks are part of every learning experience. Whenever you “go for it,” and you put yourself “on the line” without knowing the outcome, you take risk. Of course, with every risk, there is the possibility of failure. But failure needs to be recognized as a normal part of life (“Oops! That didn’t work out, why don’t you try again later?”). A failure can be the best learning experience in that it can point us in a new, better direction. In other words, failures help us refine our judgment. (Davis, 2009)

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References

Davis, S. and Eppler-Wolff, N. (2009). Raising Children Who Soar: A Guide to Healthy Risk-Taking in an Uncertain World. New York: Teachers College Press.