Stages of Development and Risk-Taking: Middle School (Ages 11 - 14)

During this period, most children experience the onset of puberty, and this brings rapid growth in the physical, social, and emotional senses. Peers take on added importance, and “tweens” and young teens begin to explore their sexual identity with early boy-girl relationships. Girls more than boys are interested in issues related to sexuality, and due to a surge in hormones, tweens and young teens can begin to experience some emotional turmoil. In the intellectual realm, the ability to think abstractly develops, as does an interest in the issues related to the larger world. (Davis, 2009)

Emotional risks involve many areas of development, but risks associated with peers are paramount. It is risky to ask a girl to “go out” with you because you risk rejection. And because tweens/young teens will often talk about everything with their friends, you risk everyone knowing about the object of your affection’s acceptance or rejection of your feelings. Furthermore, if you are successful in your quest for closeness and intimacy, you feel socially competent and loveable. If you are unsuccessful, you may be overcome with feelings of rejection, isolation, and criticism. (Davis, 2009)

Academic risks are embodied in taking the risk of answering a question in class when you aren’t sure of the answer. Tweens/young teens need to learn how to make mistakes and to feel okay about doing so. The teacher’s response to mistakes is crucial in this realm. If the teacher praises the student’s thought process or his courage in attempting to answer a difficult question, the tween/young teen will likely feel okay about the attempt and will try again in the future. If the teacher only values correct answers, then the tween/young teen will be less likely to take a similar academic risk in the future. (Davis, 2009)

Parents can help their tween/young teen to counterbalance the negatives in his middle school experience (or to enhance the positives), by encouraging him to become involved in extracurricular activities. When he chooses to participate in those things that interest him or those in which he shows a particular talent, he will be encouraged to take good risks and will likely achieve the kinds of successes that lead to further risk-taking and that improve self-esteem. Whether the tween/young teen chooses the arts, sports, leadership, or something else doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he is encouraged to participate fully, to do his very best, to take pride in his achievements, to learn from his mistakes/failures, and to have fun.

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References

Davis, S. and Eppler-Wolff, N. (2009). Raising Children Who Soar: A Guide to Healthy Risk-Taking in an Uncertain World. New York: Teachers College Press.