The authoritarian parent is also known as the “traditional” parent. These parents are highly engaged with their children but are not very warm or affectionate. In general, they are not interested in the child’s point of view. “Because I said so” is a common response to a child’s question about why he has to do something or other. Authoritarian parents tend to enforce a strict set of rules that are neither designed to be responsive to the child’s needs nor created to promote independence. Punishment (which may include physical punishment) is used when children do not conform to rules and expectations.
Children of authoritarian parents tend to be obedient (at least while the parent is looking), conforming, and are often dependent on others for guidance. They also tend to have low self-esteem, poor social skills, and higher rates of depression. They often lack creativity and curiosity and may be aggressive in their relationships with others. (Levine, 2006)
Permissive parents are very warm and tend to be highly involved with their children. They often see themselves as less of a parent and more of a “friend” to their children. They also look at parenting as a collaborative effort between parent and child, and they allow their children to make many decisions for themselves, often from a very young age. The permissive parent is more responsive than demanding and is reluctant to exercise control over her child. Rules, if they exist, are not enforced consistently. Because they do not insist on appropriate behavior, permissive parents are likely to attempt to shield their child from the consequences of his behavior. Children have few responsibilities at home, and permissive parents often use reasoning and manipulation to gain cooperation from their children. These parents encourage creativity and curiosity.
Children of permissive parents tend to have high self-esteem, and they are both likeable and highly social. They tend to be somewhat immature and impulsive, and they may have difficulty considering the consequences of their actions. They also tend to be somewhat manipulative. In general, they have lower rates of academic success and higher rates of substance abuse than do children of either authoritarian or authoritative parents.
Authoritative parents are warm and accepting. They set clear and appropriate boundaries and expectations and explain reasons for rules and limitations. They are behaviorally demanding but also responsive to the child’s needs. They encourage verbal give-and-take. Authoritative parents provide support rather than criticism, and reasonable consequences are used to help children meet expectations. They place a high value on cooperation, self-management, independence, and responsibility, and they take notice of demonstrations of appropriate behaviors. They value achievement and internal motivation, yet they do not overly emphasize competition. They promote independence by helping the child to meet expectations on his own.
Children of authoritative parents tend to be socially adept and responsible. They are interested in others, and they tend to have a healthy sense of self. They have lower rates of both depression and substance abuse than do children from either authoritarian or permissive households. These children are better able to lead independent lives, enjoy a sense of competence, and maintain strong interpersonal relationships.
Prudent Parenting has its roots its roots in authoritative parenting. for more on the roots of Prudent Parenting, click here.
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References
Levine, M. (2006). The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressures and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids. New York: Harper Collins.
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