Stages of Development and Risk-Taking: Infancy and Toddlerhood (Birth - Age 3)

Soon after birth, the infant connects emotionally with the mother. Over time, the child develops a sense of autonomy from the mother, emerging as a separate person from her. At some point during this stage, the child will experience separation anxiety. The child also masters walking and talking. In addition, he develops trusting relationships with caregivers.

Typical risks during this period include separation from the parent at daycare, which requires the infant/toddler to be able to tolerate feelings that are associated with this separation. At times, separation anxiety may be overwhelming to the child who does not yet have the ability to remember that his mother returned to pick him up yesterday and is likely to do so today as well. If the child has acquired the ability to self-comfort/self-soothe, he will be able to tolerate separation better than the child who has not developed these abilities.

Self-soothing and self-comforting are abilities developed at this stage and are useful at every stage of development following. While specific self-soothing behaviors change over time, they continue to help children cope with frustration and failure and with their willingness to take risks.

Another challenge at this stage is the ability to delay gratification. Children who accept delayed gratification risk not getting something that they want immediately. If they endure this successfully, they feel great pleasure once they get the thing that they waited for. If they are unsuccessful in this, they may be prone to temper tantrums, which can leave them feeling exhausted and helpless.

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References

Davis, S. and Eppler-Wolff, N. (2009). Raising Children Who Soar: A Guide to Healthy Risk-Taking in an Uncertain World. New York: Teachers College Press.