Communicating with your infant begins with talking to him from the moment he is born. Every time you talk to your baby, you are conveying to him that he matters and that he is loved. Talk to him frequently even though he cannot understand you. He will soon begin to recognize your voice, and your tone of voice will carry meaning to him.
Don’t worry about what to say when talking to your baby. All you need to do is to make sure that you speak to him in a loving manner, which won’t be hard to do. You can begin by just admiring how incredibly cute he is. Then, you can tell him what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. (“It’s time to change your diaper. Let’s get you out of that wet one. Now, I’ll get you all cleaned up. Here’s the fresh one! You’ll feel all better soon.”) You can keep this kind of patter going all day long, and your baby will love it.
You can also begin to engage your baby in “conversation.” By imitating the vocalizations he makes and by responding to his vocalizations with words, you are giving your child the idea of what a conversation entails. The more you talk to him, the more he will vocalize.
In addition to talking to your baby, you’ll want to try to figure out what he’s trying to communicate to you. Pay close attention to his different cries as well as to the context in which he cries. Notice what’s going on when he coos, grimaces, and babbles. Soon you’ll be able to “read” him better, and that will enable you to respond to him more appropriately. That will make both you and your baby happy.
Some toddlers speak in sentences while others have only a few words. Either way, through careful observation, you’ll be able to understand what your toddler is trying to say to you. By this time, you’ll be so used to talking to him that you’ll have plenty to say. You’ll narrate what’s happening in his life, you’ll ask him questions about what he wants, and you’ll label his feelings for him. The more you are able to communicate with him, the stronger his self-esteem will grow.
When giving instructions to a toddler, give simple, easy-to-follow instructions, and give only one or two instructions at a time. Use positive directions (telling him what you want him to do) rather than negative directions (telling them what you don’t want him to do). (“I want you to put on your smock when you paint so that you will be able to keep your clothes clean.” “Yes, you may play outside after we get home from the store.”)
Also, giving toddlers a choice between two equally-acceptable options will lead to greater levels of cooperation. If you ask a toddler to put his boots in the mud room, he may balk, saying the dreaded word, “no!” If, on the other hand, you ask him, “Do you want to take your boots off in the garage or in the mudroom?” “no” isn’t the likely answer. If you can’t find two acceptable alternatives, use “I” messages such as, “I need you to start putting your toys away in five minutes because it’s almost time to go to Grandma’s house.” If the toddler doesn’t cooperate, then repeat your request calmly and forcefully. Wait five minutes, and then repeat it again if necessary. This is called the “broken record” technique, and it works wonders.
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