The Importance of Role Modeling

Most human behavior is learned by observation through modeling. (Alvy, 2008) Knowing this, parents do well to model the kinds of behaviors that they want to see in their children. There is nothing quite like a positive role model. There is a reason that people say that “actions speak louder than words.”

For example, if you are polite to them, your children are more likely to be polite to you and to the rest of the world. Simple things like saying, “please” and “thank you” to your children from the time they are babies goes a long way toward teaching them to behave in a courteous manner. Other things that we can model for our children include respect for elders and respect for those in authority (e.g., teachers and coaches).

In retrospect, my husband and I modeled lots of things without even intending to. By not saying “yes” to every request for a new toy when the children were little, by shopping in stores with reasonable prices, and by comparing prices when shopping for groceries, we taught thrift. By involving our children in calculating tips in restaurants, we taught appreciation (and reinforced “percent” in math). When we were charged too little for an item in a store, we brought it to the clerk’s attention, thereby teaching honesty.

Children pay attention to everything that is going on around them, even when they seem to be absorbed in play. So pay attention to what you’re saying around your child. Also, the relationship between the child’s father and the mother, the two most important people in his life, models relationships for children as young as toddlers. So pay attention to what you’re saying and how you’re saying it to one another. In addition, what’s on television matters, so it is best to leave the TV off around children unless they are watching an age-appropriate television program.