Developing a gender identity is an important task of the preschool years. When children are between 2 ½ and 3 years old, they usually proclaim themselves to be either a boy or a girl. Because of their all-or-nothing thinking, preschoolers usually develop rigid definitions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. These ideas about gender roles come from parents, older siblings, books, television, and movies. At this point, parents may be forced to buy gender-specific toys and clothes because these are what children want, but parents can also choose books and movies for their children in which there are strong female characters as well as characters that model non-traditional roles in order to balance off children’s early preference for gender stereotyping.
Gender Constancy
During the preschool years, it is not uncommon for children to play “doctor” so that they can examine the physical characteristics of someone of the opposite sex. In addition, at this age, some children experience a lack of gender “constancy” and think that boys can grow up to be mothers and girls can grow up to be fathers. Finding out that this is not possible can be difficult for some children to accept. By the time they are between 5 and 7 years old, however, they realize that they will always be a boy or a girl. With this gender constancy comes further interest in their body and the physical characteristics of gender. At this stage, children may ask questions of parents with regard to body parts and where “babies come from,” they may develop modesty, and they may engage in “bathroom talk.” (Black, 1996)
When Children Ask Questions About Gender
Parents should answer questions simply and honestly using accurate language. Prudent Parents know that before answering questions, it is wise to ask children what they know already so as to avoid giving more information than the child is looking for at any given point in time. This also gives parents the opportunity to correct misinformation gleaned from other children and the media. Parental responses to questions about gender can influence the degree to which the child is willing to accept his or her gender identity. (Black, 1996)
Avoiding Gender Stereotyping
In order to avoid promulgating or perpetuating gender stereotypes, children should be provided with a range of toys aimed at both boys and girls (e.g., trains, building blocks, kitchen equipment), and books that do not perpetuate gender stereotypes should be read. Of course, once children can make their own toy choices, they may demonstrate gender-stereotypical toy preferences, and there is little that the parent can do about that.
Once gender awareness has occurred, a sense of what it means to be of one gender or the other is developed through interactions with others, especially with family members. Early gender-specific behavioral expectations on behalf of parents and other adults can lead to gender-specific behaviors. Furthermore, young boys see their fathers as positive role models for what it means to be a man and a father; young girls recognize in their mothers the “ideal” for what it means to be a woman and a mother. Depending upon whether or not their parents’ actions are gender stereotypical or not, children develop a narrow or a broad view of gender.
Gender Stereotyping at School
Although at times rather subtle, gender stereotyping occurs at school, and this can affect children’s gender identity, as well. Boys receive more attention than girls—their questions are answered more frequently and fully, and they are called on in class more often. This may have more to do with “crowd control” than a preference for boys over girls, but it has an effect. Furthermore, when asked to describe the boys in their classes, teacher are more likely to identify them as being independent, aggressive, and mathematical. Girls, on the other hand are more often seen as verbal, passive, and dependent. (Black, 1996)
Benefits of Increased Awareness of Gender Stereotyping
Increased awareness of the effects on both boys and girls of gender stereotyping can lead teachers to adopt a more androgynous view of gender identity. When individuals are seen as a combination of both “masculine” and “feminine” qualities, they have greater self-esteem than do those who are more gender stereotyped. (Black, 1996) Under these conditions, both girls and boys feel more confident in pursuing interests that defy gender stereotypes, yet gender identity is not affected.
References
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Black, J. and Puckett, M. (1996). The Young Child: Development from Prebirth Through Age Eight (2nd ed.). Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Merrill.
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