Prudent Parenting and its Authoritative Parenting Roots

Because Prudent Parenting is based, in large part, on the principles of authoritative parenting, let’s take a look at authoritative parenting in more detail.

In general, authoritative parents are warm and accepting. They demonstrate satisfaction with their child’s traits and abilities. In addition, they seek out and enjoy the company of their child and provide lots of positive reinforcement. They are sensitive to their child’s needs and are interested in their child’s views.

With regard to behavioral expectations, the authoritative parent clearly defines expectations and consequences while firmly and consistently enforcing rules. This approach affects in positive ways the ability of children to behave appropriately. While they are willing to engage with their children in verbal give-and-take with regard to behavioral expectations, they rarely give in to coercive demands from the child. (Alvy, 2008)

Authoritative parents are highly responsive to their child’s needs, and they engage him in frequent interactions. In other words, they make their child a central part of their lives. They insist on mature behavior within age-appropriate norms and provide frequent feedback to their children regarding their behavior. Children of authoritative parents tend to internalize behavioral guidelines at an earlier age than children who are parented in either authoritarian or permissive ways, and they are more independent, more likely to achieve academically, and they tend to behave in more socially-acceptable ways. (Alvy, 2008)

Using many authoritative parenting strategies, the Prudent Parent encourages the following traits:

1. Decision-making—Children are encouraged to make decisions appropriate to their age and developmental level. This enables the child to develop self-confidence, problem-solving skills, resourcefulness, and a feeling of self-worth.

2. Respect—Children are treated with respect, and both parents and children have self-respect. Children learn to respect others, treating them with kindness and courtesy. Neither the parent nor the child allows himself to be bullied.

3. Responsibility—Children are expected to accept responsibility for themselves in a wide variety of areas. They participate in their own self-care to the greatest degree possible, and they are expected to contribute to the household in age-appropriate ways. They are held responsible for managing their schoolwork and their extra-curricular activities. As a result, children are likely to become self-reliant, capable, and independent.

4. Courage—Children are encouraged to accept challenges and to try new experiences. They are good risk-takers in that they willingly take intellectual, social, and emotional risks.

5. Discipline—Children are expected to become self-disciplined. Prudent Parents set realistic standards for behavior, are firm in their expectations for compliance, and reward appropriate behavior. Understanding that children will make mistakes, the Prudent Parent sees mistakes as learning experiences. Prudent Parents do not expect perfection from their child.

6. Perseverance—Children are expected to develop perseverance in the face of challenging tasks, and Prudent Parents are encouraging of children’s efforts and partial successes.

7. Independence—Children are encouraged to develop independence. They develop the skills necessary for responsible decision-making and self-care, and they learn to delay gratification.

In addition to promoting the traits listed above, the Prudent Parent recognizes that the same parenting strategies cannot be used across the child’s life from infancy through adolescence. The same core philosophy will endure, but the specific techniques will change with the child’s age and developmental stage.

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References

Alvy, K., (2008). The Positive Parent: Raising Healthy, Happy, and Successful Children, Birth to Adolescence. NY: Teachers College Press.